Austin's Blog

There are no adequate words in the face of losing a child. Yet, there are a host of words to describe what you feel after child loss: shattered, despondent, empty, exhausted, wounded, grief-stricken, debilitated, ran over, forgotten, unseen, and detached. The Bible uses the language of “crushed in spirit” to describe the inner life of someone who has experienced deep times of sorrow. You feel like your soul or spirit has been crushed, smashed, or pulverized under the weight of grief and loss.

A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. Prov 15:13

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Prov 17:22

A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? Prov 18:14

What’s a crushed spirit? Tim Keller says, “A crushed spirit then is to look out at life and to have no desire for it, have little or no joy in it, have no passion to get out there and deal with it. Of course, there are degrees of a crushed spirit. It can be anywhere from listlessness and restlessness to discouragement to despondency to being very, very cast down and to losing all desire to live.” The loss of a child is a crushing experience which hollows out the inside of you. Proverbs says being crushed in spirit dries up the bones. It is said to be unbearable and is caused by sorrow.

What is to be done with this crushed spirit? How do you go on? One thing is for certain, it does no good to pretend it isn’t there or try to hide it from the Lord. David writes in Psalm 38:8-9, “I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart. O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.” His longing and sighing are before the Lord. God even promises to be near to those who are crushed in spirit. David says again in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Near. Grief and joy are matters of life and death and the Lord is near within them. He saves those who are crushed in spirit. Christians are not people who possess no grief. We are people who experience “new” grief. A grief that is full of hope (1 Thess. 4:13). Paul David Tripp writes, “God doesn’t call you to stifle your grief or put on a happy face when you are crushed. He doesn’t expect you to hide behind religious clichés and theological platitudes. God approves of your tears! But he welcomes you to look at death through the eyes of Christ. The comfort and hope he provides does not remove your grief, but they allow you to grieve in a brand new way. And he promises one day to take you to a place where you will never cry again.”

We are crushed in spirit these days. There’s a lot of groaning, sighing, and weeping. Yet, we know we won’t always feel this way. This is a casket experience but Bob Kellemen reminds us, “God’s Word never leaves us in the casket of despair. Instead, Scripture invites us to face our casket experiences honestly and then look to the God of resurrection hope.”