Austin's Blog

How do you go on? How do you continue living when someone who was a part of you has died? Upon what resources can we draw strength and resolve to do the simple tasks of living that now require a seeming herculean sense of strength? The only answer to that question lies in the person of Jesus Christ and the strength He provides. Jared C. Wilson notes, “Because He lives, I can face yesterday.” This is a vale of tears, a fountain of sorrow, and valley of tribulation. Yet, the Lord is here. The love of God does not always spare us painful moments; the love of God however promises to intimately meet us in and through those painful moments to accomplish His wise purposes. N.T. Wright reminds us, “Remember that when Jesus died the earth shook and the rocks were torn in pieces, while the sky darkened at noon. God the creator will not always save us from these dark forces, but he will save us in them, being with us in the darkness and promising us, always promising us, that the new creation which began at Easter will one day be complete, and that with that completion there will be full healing, full understanding, full reconciliation, full consolation.” I’m ready for such fullness again.

Moving forward, there’s now a new companion at the table where Gabriel once sat. The companion is sorrow. It is now present, spreading over all things like the sky. This, of course, is how it works. This is how it must work. This is the deal. The pain and ache we feel now exists because of the joy and love we once knew. Our job is to move forward, laboring on in love for the good of others and the sake of the Kingdom until either we die and go to Heaven or Jesus Christ splits the sky from Heaven. Tim Challies writes, “Even as I put my hand to the plow, it can only ever be one hand, for I will need the other to dry my eyes. To keep one hand on the plow while wiping away tears with the other—this is the essence of living and laboring as a Christian.” We will soldier on worshipping, waiting, watching, and even weeping until we are wholly united again, never to part forevermore.

Is this scary? Is this easy? Is this endurable? How do you go on living when someone is gone that you cannot possibly live without? This is an opportunity to submit to God and worship while we wait. As difficult as it is, this is the life God has planned for us. The task now is to give that life back to Him and allow Him to use it. There is no situation, circumstance, or opportunity that cannot be put on the anvil of God’s grace and beaten into something beautiful. There’s such hesitation at times even in that. But, our hesitation must melt away into humble obedience. Elisabeth Elliot, who knew suffering all too well herself, writes, “With what misgivings we turn over our lives to God, imagining somehow that we are about to lose everything that matters. Our hesitancy is like that of a tiny shell on the seashore, afraid to give up the teaspoon of water it holds lest there not be enough in the ocean to fill it again. Lose your life, said Jesus, and you will find it. Give up, and I will give you all. Can the shell imagine the depth and plenitude of the ocean? Can you and I fathom the riches, the fullness, of God’s Love?”