Austin's Blog

Valerie (my wife) and I attended a While We’re Waiting retreat this weekend for bereaved parents. I want to list how impactful and beneficial it was for us. First, just being in the room with other grieving parents truly blessed us. You can see it in their eyes when you first meet them. The immeasurable worth of their children is written on their faces and they are more beautiful for it. Second, it was hopeful. At every level, we were directed to the hope of the Gospel, the beauty of Heaven, and how to live worthy lives until that Day. A lot of grief advice isn’t worth the time it takes to give it. We were pointed to eternal, weighty realities.

Third, we met many parents who were further along than us and we can’t describe how much of a comfort this was. We will make it. We can endure. Brad, Jill, Janice, Larry, and others are tokens of God’s grace showing us the example of how to persevere. We become what we behold. Fourth, we were so impressed at moments how grieving, broken parents were treated. I watched people be comforted with truth, treated with compassion, prayed for, faithfully served, and loved on well. They were the hands and feet of Jesus today.

Fifth, I think we made some lifelong connections with other grieving parents. Our hearts were immediately knit together. I felt the weight of wanting to spare them their deep heartache and they wished the same for us. We are all watching, waiting, and worshiping in the meantime. As I fellowshipped and visited with those parents, I was reminded of Frederick Buechner’s line, “Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me.” 

Sixth, the way the weekend is set up, the leaders offered great wisdom but also let other grieving parents share truth, advice, and the wisdom they had learned since their child went to heaven. This fostered a greater sense of belonging, unity, and openness. Seventh, no matter how long it will be, we will always love, miss, and grieve Gabriel. It was clear hearing from other parents that they dearly and deeply miss their sweet daughters and sons. They will do so until the end. We won’t apologize for it. We won’t get over him. Yet, grief isn’t our identity. We will honor Gabe and honor the Lord by continuing to be used by Him and serve Him. Though we ache and long for our son, we will live our days showing the world that Christ is our highest treasure and prize. Gabe is lagniappe. He was and is a gift.

Eighth, one of the last things that was said was that God does not call us to bear the full weight of our life without Gabe today. We are called to today and the daily tasks He has for us. I kept thinking when this was said: “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” Ninth, it is clear that the only way to live worthily in light of that great tragedy in January is to do it in the sustaining grace and power of God. There’s no way to make it and become more beautiful on the other side without relying upon Christ. He is our hope and stay.

Tenth, Gabe was the youngest child there that we grieved yet one of the leaders said, “A young life isn’t an incomplete life.” Our sweet boy fulfilled his purpose. He made it to that Golden Shore. What parent who loves the Lord wouldn’t want that for their children? He only beat me there. We so often want them to show up, open the door, and walk through back to us but one day, he will be in Heaven as we walk through that door. I’ll embrace my Savior first but will also be looking over his shoulder for our sweet boy next. I’m so proud of him and can’t wait to tell him again in person.