Austin's Blog

This past week at GriefShare, we talked about how there are various false notions related to grieving. One of the most pernicious is the false notion that grieving is unspiritual—that somehow, weeping shows weakness or wrong. The problem with this false notion is Jesus grieves and He is the truest man. If grief, being sorrowful, and tears are somehow wrong, this implicates Jesus. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus before raising him (John 11:35) and He wept over Jerusalem and its impending destruction (Luke 19:41). Isaiah 53:3 describes Him as a “man of sorrows, one acquainted with grief.” Hebrews 5:7 says, “In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence.” He isn’t faithless or faltering as He weeps. He is revealing something about what it means to be truly God and truly man.

What this means is tears are not wrong. Jesus being acquainted with our grief and sowing tears Himself helps us face our grief squarely in its ugly face. C.S. Lewis writes, “How impossible it would be now to face sorrow without rage if God Himself had not shared the horrors of the world He made.” He has, indeed, shared those horrors. He has not stood aloof. He has not simply offered well wishes and clichés from Heaven. Because of the incarnation, Jesus has intimately entered into the pain and brokenness of this world for us and our salvation. Jesus is able to empathize and sympathize with us in our heartache and pain (Heb. 4:14-16).

Nancy Guthrie, who has written numerous books on sorrow and grief, notes, “What I have needed to see is the sorrow of Jesus. Because in seeing his sorrow, I find comfort and companionship. I find guidance for dealing with my own sorrow and acceptance of my tears. Perhaps the greatest comfort I find in seeing Jesus as a man of sorrows is the affirmation that tears do not reflect a lack of faith; indeed, they are a companion to authentic faith.” He becomes the model and example of how to grieve and lament well but He isn’t just our example. He knows, sees, and cares for us in our sorrow. Bob Kellemen writes, “Jesus is not only a man of sorrows; he cares about your sorrow. Jesus is not only acquainted with his own grief; he is acquainted with your grief.” Grief, at times, feels overwhelming. It seems as if you might not make it or you’ll never feel good or right again. Yet, we must remember that grief is not everlasting or eternal. Rebekah Curtis reminds us that, “The beast [ie., grief] is huge, but not infinite; it is mighty, but not almighty. There is one Infinite, one Almighty. There is the God who knows grief because he grieved, the God who knows death because he died, the God who gives life because he lives.”

Jesus’ eyes being wet with tears somehow helps us bear and wipe away our own tears. His tears disavow forever the idea that God is hidden, uncaring, or distant. We may not like or understand His plan but we can never accuse Him of stone-cold apathy or lovelessness. It isn’t within His nature. Peter Kreeft eloquently reminds us, “Are we broken? He is broken with us. Are we rejected? Do people despise us not for our evil but for our good, or attempted good? He was “despised and rejected of men.” Do we weep? Is grief our familiar spirit, our horrifyingly familiar ghost? Do we ever say, “Oh, no, not again! I can’t take any more!”? He was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” Do people misunderstand us, turn away from us? They hid their faces from him as from an outcast, a leper. Is our love betrayed? Are our tenderest relationships broken? He too loved and was betrayed by the ones he loved. “He came unto his own and his own received him not.” Does it seem sometimes as if life has passed us by or cast us out, as if we are sinking into uselessness and oblivion? He sinks with us. He too is passed over by the world.”