Austin's Blog

I was talking to a fellow bereaved parent and she expressed her deep sorrow for us. With tears in her eyes, she said, “I had my two boys for forty years and I’m just so sorry you only had your boy for only one year.” Her empathy and warmth were such a gift to me! There’s a sense for those who lost their children when they were young that their lives somehow lacked meaning and purpose. Was Gabe’s life meaningless? Was this a senseless tragedy? Did he fail to somehow meet and fulfill his purpose? Absolutely not! My sweet boy’s life was full to the brim with meaning. Why? Because the length or duration of something does not determine its value.

Dan and Anna Martin rightly note this truth saying, “…the meaning of life doesn’t lie in its length or function. It lies in the sum of its connections, in the sum of personal, relational knowledge…Meaning is not about length of life, but about being known.” Boy, was he known by us! From the moment his arrival was announced, there were tears of joy and gratitude. To know Gabe was to love Gabe. To be known by Gabe was to be loved by him. There is nothing in the world like one of his open-mouthed, slobbery kisses or his cuddly snuggles. Our lives have been endowed and enriched by his little life and it will continue to be so.

More importantly though, Gabriel is known by God. This is the goal of life, isn’t it? J.I. Packer writes, “What were we made for? To know God. What aim should we have in life? To know God. What is the eternal life that Jesus gives? To know God. What is the best thing in life? To know God. What in humans gives God most pleasure? Knowledge of Himself.” Gabriel is known and loved by God. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 8:3 that, “…if anyone loves God, he is known by God.” Gabriel was not just a loving gift from God, he exuded the love of God. Paul reminds us in that famous chapter on love about one of the greatest joys of Heaven is—knowing and being fully known by Him. 1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

How does this apply to Gabriel and any other child who passed away young? Dan and Anna Martin note again, “Meaning is the sum of the connections; and if a human is known by an infinite God, then that connection is immeasurable in meaning. A human life has immeasurable meaning. This means that a short life has as much meaning as a long life—since the meaning comes from God in relation to the person, not the person in relation to themselves.” He is not just known and loved by his Momma, his Daddy, his big sister, his family, his church, and so many more. He is known and loved by the infinite God, which means his life is infinitely meaningful.

Did he miss his purpose? Again, I don’t think so. The Westminster Shorter Catechism asks and answers, “What is the chief end of man? Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.” Gabriel’s earthly and present heavenly life is one of glorifying God. He is certainly enjoying God right now. We rejoice over Gabe’s life in prayer often at night when we put Addie to bed. We thank God for “Gabe’s little life” because there’s a tangible sense of gratitude and thankfulness. He never had to be. He was not necessary. I can imagine a world where he never was created at all. Yet, that little wonder of wonders was graciously created and given to us as a precious gift. He appeared to just show up through the grace, love, and kindness of God and leave an indelible imprint upon the contours of our life. Now, Gabriel is in the presence of God and will exist forever. Our separation is short compared with what’s coming in the life after this life. As a friend said, “A short life is not an insignificant life.” It most certainly is not one that lacks meaning and purpose.