Austin's Blog

Today would’ve been Gabriel’s second birthday. I can only imagine the joys that would’ve been within our home watching him grow, mature, and develop from infant into toddler over the past year. One thing that has stood out to me lately is the fact that Gabe’s little life was a sermon. His very miraculous existence is a token of God’s grace. God loved us so much He gave us the honor, the gift, and the privilege of those 366 days with sweet Gabriel Austin DeArmond. He was a little wonder who somehow showed up into our lives and irrevocably and irresistibly changed it for the better. We were changed because he loved us, we loved him, he loved others, others loved him, and God loved him.

The pain and ache we feel now are the price of such love. It was a risk to love that little wonder but a risk that was worthwhile to take. Henri Nouwen writes, “Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving…the pain of the leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.”

There was a moment in the hospital near the end (or really the Beginning for Gabe) where my sister and I were standing on each side of Gabriel and telling him of all the ways we were so proud of him. I can only remember a few things we listed then. For his second birthday, Valerie and I want to list various ways that we are proud of that sweet, sweet boy.

• He was always smiling, always giggling, and always brightening the room.
• He was such a wonderful little brother to Addison.
• He learned to crawl and crawl he did!
• He learned to throw a ball.
• He was a good “cleaner upper.” He would pick up his toys and then clap for himself.
• He learned to say Momma (his first word), Pa’Pop (his second word), and Dada (his third word). He also said “go” and “ball.”  
• He could walk along the couch and table as long as he held on to it.
• He had four little teeth. He was learning to brush them.
• He learned to communicate with his Momma when he wanted the Alexa to play music.
• He learned to growl like a bear on command when we would say, “What sound does a bear make?” He was Brother Bear to so many.
• He had some rhythm and would boogie as well as play with Addie’s musical instruments. He would have been a little drummer boy. He got that from his Momma.
• He was eating big boy food. He was like the hungry caterpillar on the cruise we took the week before, eating his way through the buffet.
• He brought immense joy to all the workers on the cruise, many who told us they had little ones back home that they were working for that they don’t get to see for nine months at a time.
• He fiercely loved his Momma. He was content if he was in her arms.
• He could roll over.
• He learned to sleep thru the night after a few months.
• He played so well with other children, especially his sister. He loved playing with all his toys in his big boy room.
• He fought valiantly and courageously when everything happened medically on January 17^th. For just being under a year old, he was so strong. He endured so much and held on for so long.
• He only knew love and love is all he gave to others. I don’t remember any heartache with him until the day everything happened in January.
• He loved to worship at church and would dance to the music.

He may not have had a long, earthly life, but he had a life that forever touched others. A brief life is not an incomplete life. Dr. J. Vernon McGee reminds us, “Although the span of life of your little one was brief, your child completed a mission, served a purpose, and performed a God-appointed task in this world. The child’s presence turned your thoughts to the best. Your little one’s helplessness brought out your strength and protection, and your child’s loveliness roused your tenderness and love. The little one’s influence will linger in your heart as long as you live. If anything can bring a man to God, it is a child. ‘A little child shall lead them’ is not idle rhetoric.” The echoes of Gabriel’s little life are still reverberating in the halls of eternity and within countless lives he touched. Happy 2^nd birthday, our beautiful boy. We are still so proud of you.