Austin's Blog

When walking through the twilight or long shade of grief, we often wrestle with the “Why” questions. We think, “If I just knew why this happened, I could make peace with it.” The reality is answers alone aren’t enough. Why think this way?

We don’t know everything. Scripture is sufficient but not entirely exhaustive. We are told what we need to know to do the will of God and love Him. Deuteronomy 29:29 says, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.” We simply aren’t privy to everything.

Answers wouldn’t bring our children back. More than anything, we desire and long for our children. Even if we had the answers, our arms would still be temporarily emptied of our greatest treasure outside of Christ.

Answers wouldn’t undo the pain we feel. Knowing the reasons why God allowed, permitted, caused, or ordained our pain would help us make meaning of it but would not necessarily alleviate the pain itself.

Answers may not emotionally satisfy us. I don’t fully have God’s perspective yet. If the answers or reasons were given now, I might not agree.

We might not be ready to receive the answers or reasons God has. What if the answers God has don’t emotionally or intellectually satisfy us because we are still in a fallen state in a fallen world? Maybe I’m not fit or ready for the answers just yet. Our pain can cloud our ability to accept them.

Knowing why doesn’t equal peace. Sometimes we know the reason or cause behind something and it still doesn’t sit right with us. Peace does not come from having a full and final understanding of something but being in right relationship with Someone. Peace comes from God’s presence, not explanations.

Biblical characters and saints of old lacked answers. We aren’t promised answers or explanations and this puts us in a long line of godly men and women. Job, Habakkuk, David, and others often cried out without ever hearing the “why.” We are no different.

Answers may create more questions. If God were to come to me know and fully lay out the plan, it might just bequeath more questions. Each explanation could lead to more “what ifs” and “why nots.”

The explanation may not make sense on this side of eternity. Some things defy explanation in a fallen world. The answers could be given and without the perspective of heaven, the puzzle pieces may not appear to fit.

We are called to trust in a person, not necessarily explanations. Trust is a volitional, intellectual, and emotional movement of the soul toward God. God is a being in whom we can know and love (John 17:3). We are seeking Him, not just explanations of His actions. We must give Him the benefit of the doubt and trust His heart when we cannot trace His hand. Trusting God without clarity strengthens our relationship with Him. What we need in the valley isn’t an answer sheet—it’s a Shepherd.

Answers may risk making suffering transactional. If we knew, we might make our walk with God transactional and formulaic. He could possibly become a cosmic vending machine where the answers are his coins and my response is mine.  We might be tempted to evaluate if the “reason” was worth the loss.

We might not be able to even comprehend the reasons why on this side of eternity. His ways are higher than my own. Even if He offered the answers, who is to say my finite, frail, and fickle mind can comprehend them? It might be like explaining astrophysics to an earthworm. Sure, the earthworm gets an answer but does it accomplish anything?

God’s silence draws us in. C.S. Lewis remarks, “’I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?” His silence is an invitation to walk with Him until the answers are given. Sometimes He withholds answers to draw us closer to His heart.

Explanations don’t heal, God does. True healing is found under the shelter of His wings, not in the flight plan. We can come to Him and He will work His healing grace within us until we are whole again. God’s love, not His logic, binds up the brokenhearted.

Our children are not lost to us forever. Reunion, not reasons, will be our greatest comfort.

Heaven’s joy will eclipse the questions. In the presence of our children and our Savior, we may not even want the answers anymore. Explanations will melt away as Jesus mends our pain through reunion and resurrection.

We have never been promised answers on this side of Heaven. God’s nearness is our good (Psa. 73:28), not perfect understanding.

Presbyterian author and pastor J.R. Miller writes, “A strong, abiding confidence that all the trials, sorrows, and losses of our lives are parts of our Father’s husbandry, ought to silence every question, quiet every fear, and give peace and restful assurance to our hearts in all their pain. We cannot know the reason for the painful strokes, but we know that he who holds the pruning-knife is our Father. That ought always to be enough for us to know.”