Austin's Blog

Grief has an end. Not always in this life. The Bible holds out an end to grief, sadness, and sorrow but it is when the End swallows up human history through the triumph of Christ’s return. Revelation 21:3-4 says, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (cf. Rev. 7:15-17)” If grief is the social, emotional, physical, spiritual, and psychological response of the soul to losing one you love so dearly and you will always love them, it seems reasonable to assume that grief will last in some sense until a reunion occurs. Earl Grollman once said, “Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.”

Once you’re done grieving, life will go back to normal. Life will never go back to normal. Things will never be the same. This is not to say it can’t or won’t be beautiful. It isn’t the loss that shapes the soul but the soul’s response to the loss. After such a catastrophic loss, your soul will either lovingly grow or selfishly shrivel. There is no going back to normal though. J.R. Miller writes, “Sorrow makes deep scars; it writes its record ineffaceably on the heart which suffers. We really never get over our great griefs; we are never altogether the same after we have passed through them as we were before. Yet there is a humanizing and fertilizing influence in sorrow which has been rightly accepted and cheerfully borne. Indeed, they are poor who have never suffered, and have none of sorrow’s marks upon them. The joy set before us should shine upon our grief as the sun shines through the clouds, glorifying them.”

Don’t share Scriptures and other truths with the bereaved. The prevailing wisdom in the church today is to be slow to share Scriptures, songs, and other things to the bereaved. All I can say is we were deeply encouraged by just about every Scripture people sent to us or spoke to us. Perhaps, the wisdom of this concerns the timing and manner in which the truths are shared. You cannot simply slap a Bible verse on burying your child. But, it matters that my child is with the Lord, that the resurrection is sure and coming, that God is good, kind, and gracious, and that the Church will walk with me until the end. You need your best theology during your deepest suffering. It is also better to prepare for it beforehand. The best time to prepare for tomorrow’s sorrows is on today’s time.